Interview with Tamika Förster: about life as a single mother, about care work, diversity and respect

We had the pleasure of meeting Tamika in person with her youngest daughter at our Fall/Winter 2022 lookbook shoot earlier this year. I've been following her on Instagram for a while and was thrilled when she accepted my modeling request. Today we talk to the single mother of two girls about life and her most important issues: racism and discrimination, diversity and respect, care work, and life as a single mother.

1. Tell us about yourself. Who are you? What do you do?

I am Tamika, mother, daughter, friend and in training to be an educational specialist.

2. How are you doing at the moment?

Right now, I'm tired but happy. My days just don't have enough hours.

3. You're a single parent and speak very openly about the difficulties that come with it on your Instagram channel @me.andmylittleones . What are the daily challenges and how do you overcome them?

I don't know how I manage it, but somehow it works. I'd be lying if I said it was easy to juggle care work, paid work, and school, but it just has to work, otherwise the house of cards I've painstakingly built for myself will fall apart.

4. When did you consciously start using your voice for social issues in public as you do today?

I consciously started doing this in 2020.

5. What are your most important topics?

For me, the topics of racism/discrimination, care work, and single parenthood are very important issues because they affect me.

6. On your Instagram channel, you often share very personal and honest texts and your own life experiences. Can you tell us more about your own story?

My story changed me and my motherhood. I was just 31 years old, thought I had everything I needed, and was happy with everything I had. I was married and had two beautiful children.

But after the birth of my youngest, my life changed without me even noticing. While I was busy meeting my children's needs, I didn't even notice how my married life was changing. Because of the constant stress of having a toddler and a baby, I didn't notice how we were losing ourselves as a couple, but I was also losing a lot of myself. My joy, my lightness, and my smile. The needs of others always came before my own. In retrospect, I experienced what happened next as a kind of liberation. As if someone had forgotten to close the door to my cage. Freed from 'till death do you part'. Because 'till death do you part' became 'till your husband starts an affair, while you sit dutifully at home and don't notice how the house of cards you're sitting in is falling apart more and more. When you suddenly find yourself sitting there, having lost everything and not knowing how you're going to survive with two children, it doesn't leave you unscathed. I found myself standing where I never thought I'd find myself. Helpless and alone, facing nothingness. A hole so deep I didn't know how to get out, but I did it. Not immediately, but I did get out.

7. You've lived in both America and Germany. What do you see as the advantages and disadvantages?

I actually see the advantages here in Germany. The political side of America, and being there as a Black woman, is far too intimidating.

8. How would you describe your own childhood and your career? What made you the brave, loud, and smart woman you are today?

My childhood was very beautiful, and I still have many good and wonderful memories of it. I went my own way and had complete freedom, but my story made me the woman I am today.

9. You are a mother of two girls. How do you try to empower your children in everyday life? What do you try to pass on to them for their life?

I try to pass on my values ​​to my children. Diversity and respect are very important. It's important that they approach and interact with others the way they would want to be treated themselves. Since racism is already a part of their lives, it's especially important to raise them to be self-confident and strong. This includes books and educational programs. Communicating with one another and sharing ideas about issues that concern us deeply is a top priority.

10. Your children's book tips and book inspiration for more variety in the children's room.

I like to buy children's books based on recommendations from @vielfalt_im_kinderzimmer . I also love all the books from little people, big dreams, and Zuckersüß Verlag .

11. Do you have a vision for the future or any particular projects close to your heart?

I would like to write a children's book, preferably about my children, but I'm currently very busy with my training...maybe it will work out after that.

Oh, dear Tamika. Thank you so much for the inspiring and interesting interview. We wish you and the girls all the best and, of course, we want to stay up to date on the book project ;). Until then, we'll be eagerly following you and your daily life on Instagram.