Spirituality, Trust & Courage - Single Mom of Three on a World Trip with Children

Désirée is a mother of three children and completely changed her life some time ago. She got rid of many old things and set off into the world with her children. What's important to her in raising them,

As a single mother of three, she embarked on a journey full of adventure and uncertainty – which she recounts in this exciting interview. But she has transformed her professional career and tells us how she freed herself from her personal system and trusted herself to pursue her dreams. She now works as a female empowerment coach and founded her company 'wild mindful woman,' sharing her knowledge and helping women in all walks of life. An inspiring story about confidence, self-love, courage, and a whole lot of female power.

1. Dear Désirée, we look forward to an interview with you! You are a single mother of three wonderful children, travel a lot with them, and help other women find themselves and grow. Please introduce yourself again.

Thank you Dorina, I'm very happy too! Yes, that's true, first and foremost I'm a mom. Many people can't even imagine that these days when I say that, but it really is my fulfillment and my true purpose in life - my calling. But I've always been someone who liked being there for others, and I often had problems myself when I was younger because I helped others who were weaker, were judged, and felt like they weren't being seen. After becoming a mom so young, it took me a long time and a few detours before I found a way to really turn this calling into a career.

2.  Last year, you and your family embarked on an interesting trip. Among other places, you visited Morocco, Vietnam, and Cambodia, and collected many amazing impressions. You can find these insights on Instagram at @wildmindfulwoman . How did you get involved, and what was your most memorable and beautiful memory there, and what was your most important experience?

I've had the dream of traveling since I was a child, not in the traditional sense of vacation, hotel, or tourist program, but more of a traveler's life. To be on the move whenever you feel like it, without great effort or lengthy planning, to own only what you really need, to get to know other cultures and live with a wide variety of people. When I became an adult myself, it naturally sounded like a utopia for a long time, but the dream never left me. As I became more and more involved with alternative healing methods, nutrition, and lifestyles during my pregnancy (and my desire to have children before that), I also came across families for the first time who had managed to turn this utopia into reality. I was completely thrilled and overwhelmed, did more and more research, and quickly decided: This is my next, and perhaps first, big, personal goal in life! From there, it was still a long and rocky road. I had to fight many battles, with myself and those around me. I had to tear down the walls that we build up over the course of our lives and really free myself and my mind.

There were truly many wonderful moments and memories on our trip. I think our volunteer work with a school project in Cambodia called the "Red Road Foundation" was definitely a highlight for all of us! Living in such simple conditions and experiencing so much happiness makes you see your whole life through different eyes!

The most important experience for me was that I can do anything! It sounds so crazy, but when I left, it was also a lot of stubborn recklessness. I already felt incredibly strong and liberated at the time, but I had also recently separated and simply wanted to show everyone that what they thought was impossible was actually possible. That's why I left so quickly, so as not to give myself time to think about it for too long and so as not to give anyone time to interfere. But of course, especially in the first few weeks, I had a few sleepless nights when I asked myself what I was actually doing. And there were moments when I wanted to give the whole thing a cry. But I managed to overcome everything, overcome all the hurdles, and master all the complications. I went to so many places that no woman would have dared to go alone with her children. I made many difficult decisions that just a few years earlier I thought I had no chance of making. So many women still think they don't have the right to decide this for themselves and their children. Experiencing all of this was probably the most important and empowering experience I could have in this life, along with the births of my children.

3. That sounds incredibly exciting and rewarding. How have your travel plans been affected by the coronavirus crisis?

Extremely so, of course. We arrived in Germany by chance during the first stages of the coronavirus pandemic because I was supposed to attend two births here. To be honest, we didn't really take it seriously, as we received very little news.

Luckily, months ago we started planning ahead for just a week or two instead of endlessly. That way, it wasn't quite as bad for us; we didn't book tickets that could expire or anything like that. Our next plan was to fly to America and then head south to Panama. That, of course, has been postponed indefinitely. But we're trying to stay in the flow with it, had a wonderful time with lovely people in Berlin, and are now looking for ways to travel even more independently in the future. For example, with a campervan, so that even in the event of a second lockdown, we'll have our home with us.

4.  On Instagram, you give us little glimpses into your life. Among other things, we see that your children already meditate and, just like you, spend a lot of time in nature. You describe it as wild, free, and wonderful. What would you especially like to pass on to your children, and what is important to you in their upbringing?

First and foremost, I want to tell you that you too can achieve anything and be anything. That you don't have to let anyone or anything tell you otherwise! But that you also have to be humble and grateful for everything we've been given, everything you're allowed to experience, and to be in harmony with nature and all living things. That describes my upbringing quite well. When people hear how we live, they usually assume my children don't have any rules at all. Afterwards, everyone is usually totally surprised at how "well-behaved" my children actually are. I believe balance is the key to most things in life. I'm very strict about some things that others don't understand because society doesn't see them as a priority, but which are particularly important to me. Like really respectful interaction with one another, always helping others, those who are weaker, and acting responsibly. On the other hand, I try to see my children as independent individuals and show them the same respect that I demand of them and that we also show adults. This also means that I try to give them the freedom to realize their wishes, to do what they want to do or to decide for themselves what they want to learn.

5. The BLM movement is currently a very big topic, and you've already spoken about it on Instagram, saying that this movement is an important step, especially for children. How do you deal with this difficult topic and how do you explain it to your children?

Phew, that's a really complicated topic. I've always talked about it very openly with my children, because for us, racism has always been a part of our lives and not something that's just now emerging. Unfortunately, it was also a sad reality for me that it wasn't discussed during my childhood, or rather, only when it was too late and it had to be talked about because something had happened. I grew up in Germany and felt completely unrepresented, neither at school, in the media, nor even in my own home.  At home. But I had a very strong urge for it that never left me, and so I read a lot as a young adult about the history of Africa, slavery, and African-American resistance fighters. It was my only way to empower myself and learn about it. It was important to me that my children never feel alone with it from the very beginning. I talked to them about it very early and very openly, especially since my eldest son is very dark. In a society that is unfortunately characterized by colorism and sexism, it's a completely different story. My two older children have read Malcolm X and Martin Luther King. They've known for a long time that we have to fight this battle, but they've been firmly established from the beginning that we're in it together! They're very self-confident and proud of their skin color and their origins, and they know how to defend themselves against stupid remarks. And despite all that, it's a terrible feeling for me as a mother to know that they're never truly safe from it. That I have to be afraid when they meet up with friends or want to go somewhere to play on their own. And that, too, takes on a completely different dimension with my son. We are currently in Berlin and he has become a young man. When I think about how often I used to stop at Görlitzer Bahnhof to film the police or to remind people that police violence, which we are exposed to every day here in Germany, is no small matter. While they were there checking young African men in a disrespectful and inhumane manner, I no longer just feel sick out of humanity itself. I can't help but think about what would happen if my son were to become the unjust victim of such an attack. And every day I have to decide whether to take the risk of something like that happening to him or to restrict his personal freedom because I have to tell him to please avoid this or that area because the risk there is simply even higher than it already is.

What I'm trying to say is that this issue has existed our entire lives and is still a long way from being resolved. But I'm incredibly grateful that the movement of the last few months has at least made more of these wonderful voices heard... like Melanelle, with whom I recently had the pleasure of working together at the Women of Color Empowerment event. That the wider population has finally understood what everyday racism looks like and that we're at least starting to do the work that's absolutely necessary to hopefully one day put an end to this inhumane mentality.

6. You mentioned on your social media channel that Germany isn't the right environment for you, and that you realized this after your travels. Do you have a vision for the future? Would you like to move to another place with your family?

Definitely. There are already a few places I can imagine living in better than Germany. I would definitely only consider countries where my children feel better represented as POCs (persons of color), where schooling is not compulsory, where the sea is nearby, and where it is relatively warm year-round. Not just because it is more pleasant, but also because I have learned that it is absolutely necessary for my overall health. But I can't say exactly which place it will be yet. We all still have the desire to travel and see as much of the world as possible. I am convinced that one day I will be standing on a beautiful piece of land and we will all look at each other and know, this is it!

7. You're heavily involved in personal development, meditation, and other self-revelatory topics, and are finding yourself more and more, and you want to inspire others to do the same. Have you always been interested in these topics, or did certain events lead you down this path? Was there perhaps a turning point at some point? How has your life changed since you started practicing all these things?

In fact, I've always been interested in alternative lifestyles. As a teenager, I went through every alternative phase you can imagine, from hippie to punk. And I've always been fascinated by magic, indigenous peoples, and their connection with nature. However, after becoming a mother so early, I initially went the "traditional" route and thought I wouldn't be enough if I didn't get a recognized education, work in a socially respected profession, etc. As we're so beautifully taught in this system, I lost my true passion. As I said, the trigger for my rethinking was definitely the process of wanting children and my third pregnancy. I learned so much about alternative healing methods, and it became increasingly clear to me that the body simply cannot function well if the soul is not free and fulfilled. And how far I was from that, even though I wasn't actually unhappy. At that point, I had already been practicing yoga for a few years, but more as a sport, even though I always felt more. But then I started to delve more and more into the non-physical aspect of yoga and that really blew everything away in my head.

From then on, there was no turning back. It was like a natural progression. I went from one thing to the next, and everything changed. It didn't all happen overnight; it was a process. Ultimately, I went from being a self-proclaimed meat eater to a vegetarian—almost vegan. I learned two new professions that I really wanted to pursue. I separated, gave up my apartment, and reduced my belongings to four boxes. I don't know if more change is possible. But what's probably far more important than all these external things is that, for the first time in my life, I truly feel conscious of my power! Self-determined, free, and infinitely happy!

8. mara mea launched its first Yoga I Active Collection this year, and we're really looking forward to lots of yoga, fitness, and mindfulness. You practice yoga and meditate yourself. What's especially important to you about these rituals?

As a single mother with three children at home, the most important thing for me is that my rituals fit easily into my daily routine. This is another reason why I involve my children a lot. Of course, I also think it's incredibly wonderful and important that they're already learning how important it is to take care of their holistic health, but a lot of that simply came about out of necessity. I try to go to bed early as often as I can and then get up at 5 or 6 to have a little time to myself before everyone else is awake. But the reality is that I often end up stuck on my laptop in the evening, wanting to watch or read something myself, or talk to friends or clients, and it doesn't work out. And even if I do, I then have to decide in the two hours in the morning what's most important: work or yoga, housework or meditation, to-do list or a nice ritual.

When I realized how important it was for me to practice these things regularly, it quickly became clear that this would only work if I learned to be flexible. Sure, it's nice to be able to sit alone on the beach in the morning during sunrise with crystals and candles and a book for journaling. But that's not the everyday reality of life, and above all, it's not always necessary to achieve these beautiful states. If we learn to be flexible in our minds, we can do it even while a child is climbing over us or children are playing next to us.

8. Do you have a specific definition of happiness and fulfillment in life?

I believe life itself is the greatest happiness. To be alive, to bring new life into the world, to watch it grow, to breathe, to develop. To be healthy, to be free, and to be able to take the time to recognize and celebrate this happiness! 

9. What is your most important lesson, belief, or mantra so far that you have been able to take with you and would recommend to other people?

I do enough! I have enough! I am enough!

10. This year, you launched a women's healing course as a project close to your heart. The next one will take place on August 8th, and we're excited to hear all the wonderful things you have to say! How exactly did you come up with this wonderful idea, what are you most looking forward to, and can you tell us what your vision for the future holds?

After learning so much, I felt I had to shout it out to the world immediately! The realization that I could improve my quality of life so enormously with such simple means and that I was even able to cure and prevent serious illnesses completely overwhelmed me. But I had no idea how I was going to put it all into practice. Long before that, I had come across the Horlachers on Instagram. They are a traveling family who have been on the road for years. They offer online coaching sessions in which they convey the knowledge they have painstakingly accumulated over the years to people who want to start projects close to their hearts. After the introductory conversation with Oliver, it was clear that this was my path to sharing this knowledge with as many women as possible.

I love talking to women, seeing how different we all are and yet how similar our issues are. And when I receive messages from women who tell me how well they're doing with things they've integrated into their lives since then and what they've been able to resolve—those are the things that make my heart sing.

My vision for the future is definitely to translate the course into other languages ​​and launch even more courses for women and mothers on all topics that interest us around natural birth, raising children, and our own health. In various formats, so that this important knowledge is available to everyone in one form or another! I will also soon be offering online women's circles, as I'm constantly noticing how great the need is for women to easily connect with other women! And I'm planning a Mama&Me event in Heidelberg and Berlin for women of color and mothers of children of color, together with Janina from the fantastic label Karité Classics, which I'm really looking forward to!

11. Last but not least: What is your absolute favorite mara mea product?

That's really hard, because I have quite a few! I have a jacket from the first collection that I absolutely love and that has accompanied me on all my travels. But the stroller mesh bag is also one of our absolute favorites, even without a stroller, and with the Yoga Collection, I don't even know where to start!

Dear Désirée, thank you so much for the inspiring and interesting interview! We're looking forward to all the wonderful travels and impressions you'll share with us <3