Our first year! What else awaits you - Tips & Tricks for New Mums I Part 2/2

What else awaits you: decisions upon decisions. Trust and saying no.

As in Part 1, "Our First Year," I'm always talking to my sister about being a mom and am happy to share the information with you here. In addition to topics like baby essentials, toys, and baby clothes, our conversations also touched on the postpartum period, starting solids, and returning to work. That's exactly what happened to her. Experience:

The postpartum period:

What exactly is that and how was it for us?
From now on, there are three of us! Period or comma or whatever. Exactly. And you have to realize that first. Get to know each other, exchange ideas, slip into new roles, shed old ones, and above all, marvel and marvel again at the truly greatest miracle in the world. And all of this takes time, and you should take it. How long will this time last? There's no fixed time frame. Your body, and not least your gut, will tell you when it's time to let the "outside world" share in this miracle. If it had been up to our friends, they would have loved to have attacked us all right there in the hospital.

No one cared what a tough battle we'd all been through, all while suffering from the flu – thanks to the nest protection that our little girl held her ground. A simple no was enough to stop the mass influx. Our families excepted. But nothing more. And it didn't need to be. When we got home, we didn't feel like having visitors at all, and everyone understood that. And in retrospect, I can say it was the best decision. I can't remember the exact day, but the four weeks my husband stayed home after the birth were almost over when the first friends – with prior arrangements – showed up. Some of them won't be able to resist showing up unannounced, but here, too, the following applies: you don't have to open the door for anyone if you don't feel like it! Your hormones already did their own thing during pregnancy, and the first few weeks after the birth will be no different. So here's a tip: Take all the time you need. You're all that matters! And when the first visitor arrives, have them bring you something to eat, wherever you fancy. You have better things to do than stand in the kitchen baking a cake!
 
On the subject of breastfeeding:

Yes, no, maybe? I've decided to breastfeed. It can be difficult at first (bleeding nipples, what feels like non-stop feeding), but it's worth persevering! The midwives/lactation consultants at the hospital play a particularly important role here. Ask them to show you all the different ways of breastfeeding and then choose the one that suits you best. In the end, we ended up breastfeeding lying down, which has its advantages, especially at night. I regularly fell asleep while breastfeeding and woke up again to the sound of smacking my lips next to me and the first attempts at latching on.

As with everything, it's important to trust your baby. They know exactly what they need, when, and how, even if that means a serving of milk every half hour. If it's too much, it will come out again. Don't be surprised if the craving returns immediately. It's logical, really, if their entire stomach contents have just landed on the couch, in bed, or directly on you. Like everything else, it will settle down. The time windows will become shorter, and you'll become more relaxed. But if you don't offer anything or stick to strict time limits, your "milk bar" may close early due to lack of supply. After all, demand determines supply.

Starting complementary feeding:

After extensive research, we decided on baby-led weaning. My midwife was the first to draw my attention to the topic. I found it incredibly fascinating and immediately stocked up on the relevant literature. My husband wasn't really convinced at first. This didn't exactly make it easier for me to stick with it. After a few gagging spells, he was actually quite upset. "We'll stop this nonsense right now." It's all about keeping your nerve and, even more importantly, trusting and, above all, staying relaxed. A small human child is truly a miracle. Of course, you shouldn't expect too much at the beginning. There's going to be messing around, throwing, and spitting out. And above all, you should never leave the eating activities unsupervised. But it's worth persevering. Our daughter actually started speaking remarkably early, and eating with a spoon, fork, and knife is going sensationally well at 20 months old, and she's been doing so for quite some time. Above all, she knows what she likes, and even more importantly, what her body needs and what it doesn't. Mostly fruit and vegetables. Her first real "meal" was a fresh fig from our fig tree. She looked like a fig herself afterwards, but the main thing was that it tasted good and she enjoyed it. Food shouldn't just taste good, it should also be fun. Unfortunately, we forget that far too often in today's hectic world. We should celebrate and enjoy it much more often. I could fill several pages with this topic. But the main thing here is to give you food for thought or a starting point, and I think you've got that. So, be brave and dive into the pleasures of eating.

Returning to work:

This is a very individual topic, and one that's impossible to give advice on beforehand—it's bound to turn out differently than you expect. The important thing is to enjoy your "free" time together—every day—and don't let anyone put pressure on you.

If you can arrange this with your employer at relatively short notice and with flexibility, then take advantage of it. Be sure to consider what kind of childcare you want when you return to work well in advance. There are pros and cons to everything – the important thing is that your child is happy and enjoys it, not you. But of course, you have to be able to trust the caregiver.

I hope you were able to take something away with you. Enjoy being a mom, with all its ups and downs.